THE TROUBLE WITH LEATHER
by Ballyuk
Summary: Clark dons Oliver's Green Arrow gear to double-cross Lois, but things don't go quite as smoothly as planned. Set around the events of 6x10 (Hydro).


Author's Note: I do not own any of the characters.

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 **THE TROUBLE WITH LEATHER.**

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They watched her leave in the elevator. Oliver could have told her he had plenty of ice in the freezer, and Lois could easily have checked first, but both had been keeping a secret from each other. The difference was that Oliver knew of Lois' plans thanks to Clark. He had to hand it to Clark. Who knew the Boy Scout could be as devious as this?

Lois had formed a plan with Clark to trick Oliver into rescuing her, thus confirming he was indeed the Green Arrow. Clark admired her instincts on working out how Oliver and the Green Arrow were one and the same, and he even coerced her into setting up a trap to confirm her suspicions. He failed to mention however that he owed Oliver the courtesy of protecting his secret just as Oliver had done for him. So when Lois suddenly piped up that she'd forgotten about the ice for their cocktails, both Clark and Oliver didn't protest when Lois insisted on rectifying her error by going out to fetch some ice. It gave them the opportunity to put their own plan into action - Clark would pretend to be the Green Arrow instead.

Oliver revealed the secret wall where he kept all his Green Arrow gear. Clark already knew about this little hideaway but didn't care to mention it. They had business to take care of. Any minute now, Lois would call Oliver with a cry for help so there was no time to waste. Somebody somewhere must have been sworn to secrecy when this hidden room had been designed and built because there was no way Oliver could have done it himself.

And then there was the equipment. Compound bows, crossbows, throwing knives, a multitude of arrows of different shapes, sizes and purposes, plus the suit. The suit was key.

Oliver walked into the room and removed the various leather items from the built-in closet. Pants, jacket, hood, boots.

"You'd better take the long-sleeved jacket Clark. Lois might recognise that those aren't my arms," he said.

Clark hesitated. "Uh, a little privacy please."

Oliver nodded and stepped out of the room, closing the doors once Clark stepped in. Within 30 seconds, Clark stepped back out wearing the pants, jacket and hood. He still had to put the boots on as well as the other Green Arrow paraphernalia.

"That looks…snug," Oliver smirked.

"How do you even move in this thing?" Clark griped, holding a pair of matching boots.

"It was designed with flexibility in mind. I need to move like a cat, but I like the feel of leather too. Besides, it's durable."

Clark went to sit on Oliver's desk chair to put the boots on, when

RIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Oliver couldn't help but grin. Clark was now thinking this was a mistake, but he couldn't get out of it. That was almost literally the case as the leather hugged his body. He tied up the boots and stood back up gingerly, looking over the suit to see where it had ripped. Oliver helped him out.

"Clark, when you're out there doing your thing, try not to get papped. I don't want the public thinking that the Green Arrow wears cartoon boxers!"

He pointed to Clark's rear where there was a sizeable tear right on the ass crack. Clark's cartoon boxers were indeed visible.

"Let's just get this over with," grumbled Clark.

"Don't worry," laughed Oliver. "I've got a great tailor who will make that look as good as new. If you like, he can hook you up with whatever you want, Super-Snoopy!"

Clark scowled at Oliver's jibe. He wasn't enjoying this at all. Oliver handed him the shades, compound bow, crossbow and voice changer which Clark put on. Did being a hero really need all this junk?

Pretty soon, Oliver's cellphone rang. It was Lois and she sounded like she was in a bit of trouble. Clark used his super-hearing to listen in and could hear Lois slamming something. Then the call got cut abruptly. It sounded realistic enough as per her plan.

"You ready?" asked Oliver.

Clark activated the voice changer and replied in the Green Arrow's signature deep electronic voice, "Let's do this."

He headed out via the balcony towards the alley where he and Oliver knew Lois would be. Oliver said he'll join him shortly, grabbing his jacket and keys before heading for the elevator.

There was a 'damsel in distress' who needed 'rescuing'.

* * *

 **FIN.**


End file.
